the clearing begins
The first to go is the two-year-thick stack of New Yorkers on the bottom shelf.
My great intention, as you can imagine, was to return to those still unread
and pilfer through them for the gems. Of course, I was only fooling myself,
hoarding them this long. Life intrudes so easily. And though I thought a dread
would overtake me at such extravagant disposal, all that literature leaving
me, and I saw the strength it took to jettison the pile of words I hadn't finished,
I felt I had to start somewhere. Here’s what I know now: The grieving
was lightning-quick. I threw the lot into the trash and walked on, undiminished
by that loss. So much weight and expectation gone. A longing, too, wiped clean.
Not every letting go will be this simple. But I’m as ready as I’ve ever been.